Dear Grandma Maggie,

Hi My name is Alicia and I have 3 children, 2 from a previous relationship and 1 with my husband. My question or concern is about having another baby. I am not currently pregnant but I can’t seem to get it off my brain. With my two oldest, when I found out I was pregnant, it wasn’t exactly good news. We didn’t have money. I was extremely unhappy and their father was and still isn’t a very good person.

My current husband is amazing! Everything he does is for me and our children (all 3). We make a great team! Raising the kids with him has been a dream come true, There are the usual ups and downs but things are very warm and loving. My concern is that by having another baby the other children will suffer. I work and my husband drives a truck and is away 5 out of 7 days.

Thank you so very much!
Alicia

Dear Alicia,

The amount of children you have is up to you and your husband. With that said, I cannot help but think of the cost of raising each child through college, and they will really need college to compete in the future.

One doesn’t have children to please themselves, but for what they can give to the child and what they can add to their lives, and I am not just talking about financial costs but emotional gifts, also. One child is not just one additional relationship. In your case, it is five new relationships.

Think about it very carefully and then do what you think is best.

Grandma Maggie

Peggy Moss, AKA "Grandma Maggie," was was an owner/partner in BabyNames.com after she retired as an early childhood educator. Her Q&A column "Ask Grandma Maggie" is now republished with the best of Grandma Maggie’s parenting and childcare advice. She has written many eBooks about parenting issues, available at Amazon.com.

Peggy, who passed in 2014, was mother to Sue, Kate, Jennifer, and Mallory Moss, and grandmother to Ike, Peter, Miranda, and Veronica.