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Ask Grandma Maggie

Parenting & Childcare Advice
Peggy Moss (1933-2014), also known as Grandma Maggie, penned a parenting column on this site for many years. Back by popular demand, we are republishing the column, sharing with you the best of Grandma Maggie’s parenting and childcare advice.
Unfortunately Grandma Maggie is no longer able to take questions.

Should I have a second child?
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Hi Grandma Maggie,

I am 40 years old. My husband is 37. We have a 16 month old daughter who keeps us on our toes. She is very, very active and has been since she was born. I work 6 hours a week, my husband works full time as a salesman and does ok; he makes enough so that I don’t have to work. My husband and I were together for 12 years before we had a child (our decision).mumbaby

My Ob/Gyn says if we want to have another baby, we need to start trying pretty soon because of my age. My husband and I are not sure if we want another child. The reasons we would want another child are because of feelings we have and what people have told us including: only children are very spoiled, only children are lonely, it would be easier on you as parents for the child to have a sibling to play with, when you die the child won’t be alone, as an adult she will have someone to help her if she needs help,  and don’t put all of your eggs in one basket.

Thanks for your advice!

Dear Friend,

I see none of the reasons you listed as valid for having a child. The only reason to have a child is because you can offer them a good life and you want to do that. If either of those things is missing, then do not have a child to satisfy your needs or the so-called reasons presented by others.

Here’s something to respond to these advice givers, although it is really no one’s business but yours and your husband’s: The most consistent highest achievers are only children.

Grandma Maggie