Ask Grandma Maggie

Parenting & Childcare Advice
Peggy Moss (1933-2014), also known as Grandma Maggie, penned a parenting column on this site for many years. Back by popular demand, we are republishing the column, sharing with you the best of Grandma Maggie’s parenting and childcare advice.
Unfortunately Grandma Maggie is no longer able to take questions.

Ex-Fiance wants to see child. Should he?

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young-man-1281282_640Dear Grandma Maggie,

I am 24 years old. My ex-fiance is 29 and he left my child and me when she was 3 months old. Now he calls everyday and tells us that he loves us and misses her. He has also moved in with another woman. Is he scared of responsibility? Is their anything you can tell me?

Dear Friend,

There is no way I can ever tell you the “whys” of what people choose to do. I don’t know your child’s age now, but I do know that she is always entitled to have her biological father in her life. That man is part of her and she will have a need to see him respected no matter what your relationship is with him. It would be wise of you to put that in place as early as possible with her, allowing him to see her at regulated intervals. However, it might be better to not allow him to use this to manipulate you into thinking he will now be an excellent mate and/or father. You can take that issue up once he is not living with another woman, but on his own. And I don’t mean living with you. He should have time to work on his abilities as a mate and father without it being in the same house as you. What happens after that will be up to both of you.

My best,
Grandma Maggie