[snow]

The warm and welcoming environment that BN has created depends greatly on our members using respect and tact in expressing their opinions. We have some specific rules and guidelines for the naming boards that you all should review and come to understand.

Unsubscribed members can ask any questions by emailing me at snow@babynames.com. Subscribers may, of course, PM me. Please do not hesitate to get clarity!

Failure to comply with the rules and/or warnings will result in suspension or termination of your account.

Name Harshing
General rule of thumb: If you wouldn't say it to an acquaintance's face when asked, it's not appropriate to answer with it here. It is neither polite nor helpful to post that you "hate" a name. Nor to use the barf smiley, the swearing smiley, or words like "gross," "hideous," "ugly," "tacky," etc.

Some other mean-spirited comments that are not permitted include the classic "sounds like a stripper name," "poor kid," "what were they thinking???" or anything similar. Disparaging comments about socioeconomic class, race, etc. are not welcome here. There are many other name-related boards out there where you can say whatever you want, as harshly as you want, and you will quickly see that our expectations of kindness and decorum are what makes this a great place to exchange naming ideas.

So what can you say when you really dislike a name? Here are some great, polite examples:

• "NMS" (not my style) or "NMSAA" (not my style at all)
• "Well I wouldn't use it myself, but it works for them."
• "I really dislike it."
• "I want to like it, but it just doesn't do it for me."
• "It sounds ________ to me." Fill in the blank with CONSTRUCTIVE criticism like "harsh" or "like it's trying too hard" or "contrived" or "too non-traditional".

When in doubt, follow the lead of our subscribed members. They have been around a while and know the ropes!

Name Harshing, Part Deux
Starting a thread for the purpose of mocking or belittling a name is... NAME HARSHING! "You won't believe this one!" or "OMG! Get this..." or "My cousin just named her son Satan, Jr. and we are soooo embarrassed!" -- all of those are examples harshing a name. And just because you put "WDYT of Satan, Jr.?" as the thread title doesn't mean you're off the hook.

Post Flooding
Please refrain from posting more than a couple threads per few hours. Every time you post a new thread, an old one gets bumped. So combine subjects whenever possible and give others a chance to get thoughts and feedback too!

Privacy, Please!
We strongly discourage members from posting their own last names on the boards, but we absolutely forbid members from sharing the last names of others! Spell out the name with phonetics or use ye olde "LN rhymes with ____."

Also, please keep in mind that with the searching prowess of Google, folks with unusual names or combinations can see posts you may have made about their names. So you might want to rethink that post about your exboyfriend Barkias Maximus. He may just find it!

Post No Polls
All polls belong on the board devoted to polls. We understand that unsubscribed members aren't permitted to vote or post their own polls on that board, but if polls are important to you, it seems to be a great motivation to subscribe, right?

Post No Games
See above and apply it to games belonging on the Name Games board.

WDYT? [re: vague titles]
The BN-wide rule about vague thread titles applies here on NNA, too. If you title your thread "WDYT" or "Please Comment" with no info about what is inside, your thread will be deleted. Appropriate titles might include:

"Silas"
"WDYT of Silas"
"Comments on Silas"
"MN for Silas"
"Silas for a girl?"
"My boys list"
"Thoughts on boy list"
"Suggestions for boy names"
"Are these unisex?"

Warnings for Unsubscribed Members
At the present, I am the only one able to contact you directly with a warning. IF you see that your post has been edited by one of our hardworking Advisors/Mods, don't repost the comments they removed. Also, please don't post in a thread "What did I do wrong???" or "I can't say that??" Wait for a PM from me!

Subscribed members will get a PM from the mods who catch the rule violations, as has always been the case.


Keep these rules in mind, and think before you post! Have fun and play nice!

[snow]

A reminder about "faking" and the BN rules.

1. It is not against the rules to make up a story, generally. It is against the rules to disrupt the boards. So if a person's story is that she has 8 month old identical triplets and quads on the way, that is not rule breaking. If a person's story is that she has identical triplets who all have an incurable disease and her husband is on the front line in Iraq and she just found she has polio -- yes, that would be disruptive, and a person's account would be closed. It's pretty simple to pick out "harmless" stories vs disruptive ones. Asking about pretend kids and their names is not going to impact anyone else in a negative way. Begging for attention and playing on sympathies is, and that's why it's a problem.

2. Faker hunting is against the rules and does bad things to our community. Don't waste your time trying to out someone in a lie or digging up their information. If you think she's a faker, everybody else is probably thinking the same thing. Let it go. If a person is being disruptive, definitely report the post! Remember, we've had people accuse totally honest people of faking, and that is MUCH more harmful to our community than ignoring a harmless story-spinner.

3. We have that handy ignore feature! You can choose to ignore anyone you think is a faker. Just go to My Settings.

4. Most importantly, to those creating stories -- BE HONEST! BN is a very warm and welcoming place with a great culture of honesty and support, and there is no reason to pretend to be who you aren't. But, like anyone, if people think they're being lied to, they're less likely to respond to you. If you are honest and say "When I have 5 kids, I want to name them...." you'll get a lot more help and feedback than if you say "I have quintuplets and they are named...."

PM me with any questions!